每日joke转载
Clyde Jin
2020-07-29
48

1、推销员:“小朋友,你家需要买一个新的吸尘器吗?” 孩子:“不需要,你可以去问问隔壁,我知道他家该换一个新的吸尘器了。” 推销员:“你怎么知道的?” 孩子:“因为我们一直借用他家的吸尘器。”

2、在超市看到一个年轻妹子,朋友捅捅我:“你看,那里有一枚少女。” 我说:“少女的量词怎么是枚?” 朋友说:“感觉很精致不是吗?少女本就是精致的生物呀。” 我茅塞顿开,深有同感地点点头。 不久朋友捅捅我:“你看,那里有一坨妇女。”

3、我:这风好大啊! 老爸:嗯,外边的树都刮倒了。 我:看谁家的灯笼都刮跑了呵呵。 老爸:哎!不对啊!我们咋能看到外边啊!?!? 我:Cao!咱家门呢?!?!

4、“您好,开门查水表。” “水表在外面。” “您好,我是快递公司的,有你的包裹。” “我没买过东西。你送错了。” “您好,我们公司搞了个活动,你是我们公司的幸运客户,中了2000元的奖品。” “我不要奖品,就帮我捐给贫困山区吧!” “卧槽,爆破一组准备。。。”

5、周末,到某大酒店挥霍,看菜都不够贵,问服务员:“你们这儿有贵的菜么?” 服务员:“您往后翻那生猛海鲜比较贵。” 翻到最后一页看到一个八位数的菜,跟服务员说这菜给我来四份。 服务员看了一眼说:“那是我们的订餐电话!”

6、本人兼职老师一枚,那天和闺蜜在公交车上,闺蜜问“你现在兼职一月拿多少钱?” “看课多课少了,想赚钱就使劲接课,接的课越多赚得就多~但就是没法休息,太累,怕身体受不了” “你一天最多接多少课?” “看时间。。。” 突然发现周围好多人瞪大眼睛看着我!!!! 我恍然大悟,各位我说的是接课不是接客。。。

  1. 7、一女同事问:有什么恐怖片吗?推荐一下。 一男同事答:你可以自己照镜子! 女说:我要那种看着既恐怖又特别恶心的! 男淡定的回答:你可以一边吃屎一边照镜子。 我勒个去,你两有仇???

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