DailyJoke149
Clyde Jin
2020-09-08
50

1、“月明星稀,乌鹊南飞;绕树三匝,无枝可依。这四句诗表达了曹操的什么心境?” “去吃饭找不到停车位。”

2、新任局长请老局长:“这纪检工作如何搞。” 老局长说:“简单!就像煮汤圆,自己漂起来的你就捞,沉在底下的别瞎搅和。”

3、问:“我只会换灯泡,在简历中该怎么写?” 答:“在没有造成任何成本超支和安全事故的情况下,独立成功完成环境照明系统的升级与安装。”

4、泥瓦匠发现新来的学徒站在一堆水泥堆前发呆,怒问:“你怎么不干活,发什么呆?” 学徒:“我双手老是发抖。” 泥瓦匠说:“哦,那你去那边筛沙子去吧!”

5、酒店老板请人写店招牌,那人写完后,又在上面画了一把刀。 老板惊问:“画刀是什么意思?” 回答道:“我要用这把刀来杀杀酒里的水气!”

6、某互联网公司招了个日本人做研发,上班第一天就对部门同事说:“我在日本工作时是个加班狂,每天都很晚回家,希望大家跟上我的步伐。” 一个月之后他辞职回日本了,临走对我们说:“你们这样加班,经常睡在公司是很不人道的。”

7、一个盲人去买烧饼,对摊主说:“老板,给我来几个烤糊的烧饼!” 摊主不解的问:“你为什么时候非要糊的?” 盲人道:“我不说你也要趁机给我糊的,我先说出来不是更有面子吗?!”

8、发微博、朋友圈,最后一句加上“这个社会怎么了”,立马整篇升华了。 例如:我看见有人闯红灯了,心想:咋不撞死你啊,最后一句换成:这个社会怎么了。 一下子从小心眼,升华成忧国忧民的人。 希望各位发微博、朋友圈的时候,最后加上这一句,从一个俗人,变成一个充满社会责任感的人,就那么简单!

 

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