DailyJoke142
Clyde Jin
2020-09-01
47

1、今天心血来潮,发短信调戏老公:“帅哥,我注意你很久了,出来一起吃个饭呗” 本想着他会配合说好呀或者去哪呀之类的,结果这厮回了一句:“你妹,你这是给谁发的。”

2、今早晨,我:“亲爱的,你给我的裤子熨了吗?” 老婆:“熨了。” 我:“不对吧,昨天我裤兜有三百元,怎么现在还在?!”

3、今周未,老婆挥汗如雨地干着家务,而老公却悠闲地半躺在床上看电视。 老婆抱怨说:“你就能忍心看我一个人在这里苦干?” 老公同情地说:“那我回里屋睡一会儿。。。”

4、今老婆:“看看你吧,年纪不大额头上的皱纹却那么多!” 我:“是吗?有多少?” 老婆:“戴个帽子,就像拧螺丝一样。” 我#%^$%^

5、今昨晚上睡觉被蚊子咬醒了。记得老公枕边有一瓶驱蚊药,伏在老公身上寻找,老公迷迷糊糊的问:“怎么了?” 我:“药。” 老公轻拍了拍我的背:“快睡吧,大半夜的,要什么要?”

6、今已是深夜了,老公才回家。 “你又到哪儿了?”老婆大声训斥着拧开灯,“为了等你回来,我在床上等你到凌晨三点。” “我。。。我怕回来以后你说,我一直在等你熄灯,所以在街上一直等到凌晨三点。”

7、今老公在网上浏览美女照,因为看得太认真,没注意到老婆来到了身后。 老婆:“在干什么呀?” 老公吓了一大跳,过了一会儿才说:“在找人。” 老婆:“还想找什么样的人?” 老公:“想找一个长得比你漂亮的,可是一直找不到。”

 

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